well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happen
sounds to me like he was asking for it
Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know.
If he didn’t want to be decapitated, he shouldn’t have worn a shirt that showed off his neck
I mean, not all woman decapitate people. I’m not like that.
One nation, under Canada, above Mexico.
with liberty and justice for some
Not all men
Just white men
I think the biggest turn on is knowing you turned someone else on.
Little Timmy was not fully prepared for this quiz, I’m afraid.
According to the song Seasons of Love from RENT, there are 525,600 minutes a year.
One line later, there are “525,000 Moments so dear”.
So, doing the math, we can glean that there are 600 moments which aren’t so dear.
And I think I just used one of them by walking in on my boss who forgot to lock the bathroom stall.
this post did not even remotely go in the direction I was expecting it to
OK DID ANYONE ELSES SCHOOL SYSTEM DO THAT THING WHERE THE TEACHER GOES *clap clap clapclapclap* AND EVERYBODY DOES IT BC TODAY MY TEACHER DID THAT AND EVERYONE INSTINCTIVELY DID IT AND WE’RE FUCDING SOPHOMORES
there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance.
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom.
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”
oh my god
wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
helping others is always nice
also if you know someone you can’t stand leave some of their hair at the crime scene
I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust
the “i’m not afraid to verbally assault a middle schooler if they look at my kid the wrong way” haircut
I thought this was the “I would like to speak with a manager” haircut
Actually, it’s the “I’m never coming to this restaurant again” haircut.
"can i return this? i don’t have the receipt"